Small Irritations
Just a few thoughts today, on e-mail composition in a professional setting, in the case of wanting appear semi-professional:
- Signatures need not include 14 lines of physical addresses, fax numbers, license information, multiple degrees, and posturing, followed with a lengthy disclosure statement. If your e-mail is required to include a disclosure statement due to legal regulations, try removing it from your e-mail reply settings, reserving it for just your initial message.
- Do not answer an e-mail with the simple word, “Ok.” It takes away from someone else’s time to look at this e-mail. Be effective in your correspondence.
- Text message shorthand is reserved for people who have their grade 5. You are a grown person, and therefore should speak and type in correct sentences. If I receive an e-mail written in SMS language from you, consider fucking right off.
- “Please Advise” has to be one of the most asinine ways a person can sign off on an e-mail. This phrase sounds robotic, impersonal, and a lot like foreign spam. Say what you mean, in plain language. Just what do you want the recipient to advise you on? Leaving a lot to interpretation, eh?
- Believe it or not, there are people out there who are still typing in ALL CAPS.
- Over-punctuation is ridiculous. Seven exclamation marks and some asterisks are not going to grab my attention any better than just one. Just slap me, would ya?
- The subject field is reserved for a subject matter. Not for the entire message. An indication that a lazy half-wit wrote the e-mail? You’ll find the entire message in the subject line.
- Do not “reply to all”, unless necessary.
- Do not forward your entire office’s e-mail thread to a new person who has to figure out what in the sam hell is going on. One person needs to gather their wits, and send out one concise message, once the problem has been established.
- And finally, if you’re in the “cc” spot, it’s usually not necessary that you answer the e-mail. You’re just being included for your information.
